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Change to Spare

What Makes a House a Home

My mom is getting remarried in April. The man she's marrying is very nice — he loves the Lord and loves my mom — two very good things. There is a problem though. He lives three hours north of Minneapolis, and my mom will be moving up there. This means that she is selling my house. Sad day.

My house (I still feel justified in calling it my house even though I never paid a cent for it and I no longer live there. Leave me alone.) is quite old, and thus cool. Built in 1911, it has a sweet attic, hardwood floors in every room, and a built-in oak buffet in the dining room. More importantly, it holds my childhood memories.

We moved in on my fifth birthday. So many things happened in that house over the years — there's the oak bench that I hit my head on, resulting in eight stitches; the basement "stage" where my cousins and I performed Christmas plays; and, of course, the closet my friend and I had our secret club meetings in. I remember doing homeschool lessons at the dining room table, swinging on a hammock in our backyard and having deep conversations with my mom on the front porch. So many of the things that happened in that house have shaped who I am today. And now that house will no longer be ours.

Everything is changing.

The Negative Effects of Change

Change is an interesting thing. Some people hate it — if they can live in the same town, same house, eat at the same restaurants and buy the same bright pink lipstick for the rest of their lives, they will be set.

Some people crave it — they never settle down, they're always on the go, and they don't ever stay somewhere long enough to let roots grow.

I fall somewhere in the middle. I like consistency, but every once in awhile, I feel the need to do something completely new and different.

It wasn't until I graduated from college that I found out this need I had for change came about every four months. After thinking about it for awhile, I realized that our educational system conditions us to expect frequent change.

Our entire college careers, we operate on a three- to four-month schedule. Every semester our classes change, our housing changes at least once a year, and every summer we have the opportunity to do something different, whether it's studying abroad, working at camp, or making extra money as a server at Olive Garden.

We are used to change in our fast-paced lives. Technology is different all of the time, and most of us have learned how to keep up. (I am a little behind — I'm still not sure what an RSS feed does.) People change classes, outfits, living arrangements, jobs, even boyfriends on a regular basis.

It is fine that our college routines are so adjustable, but after I entered the "real world," I realized how much my ever-changing schedule had allowed me to get away with.

For example: If I hated my stats class (which I did), I only had to survive it for a couple of months. I had to memorize things for the test, and once it was done, I could promptly discard what I had learned. If my roommate and I started to get on one another's nerves sometime in March, I only had to deal with her dirty dishes piled in the sink until May. Then I could move on and leave her behind. If my job as camp counselor was less glorious (and more bug-filled) than I had hoped, I could finish out the summer and never come back.

These constant changes sometimes allow us to escape from problems that we normally would have to deal with. And honestly, the ever-changing schedules of college did not prepare me for real life. Once I graduated from school, I was suddenly expected to sit in a cubicle for eight hours a day, five days a week. And I had better stick with this job longer than four months — I didn't want to look like a failure, after all. Eventually I adjusted, and now my eight-hour days go by fairly quickly. I break up the hours with frequent chats with our Institute students.

My point is not that change is bad, but that the way the fast-paced college life is structured sometimes allows us to escape difficult, uncomfortable or boring situations. And sometimes, God calls us to tolerate (if not rejoice in) the things that make us struggle.¹

This culture of change has its negative effects. I can't speak for everyone, but in my life, I know that I have sometimes given myself license to avoid pain and struggle because it is so easy for me to change friends, jobs, living situations and so on. We sometimes fail to deal with our problems because we aren't forced to. We are not as committed to people, because many of us have the mindset that if a friendship isn't working out, we can escape it. A lot of us, very unfortunately, think the same thing about marriage. But this kind of change does not help us cultivate the long-suffering attitude that the Bible tells us to perfect.

A Change for the Better

Change is something we've come to expect in our schedules and wardrobes, but when it comes to spiritual change we resist. Why? Because Christlike change can be very difficult. Sometimes it is joyful, but much of the time, it causes pain and unrest as we struggle to throw off our sinful nature.

Our desire as Christians should be to constantly grow and transform as we journey through life. Thankfully, this process is not left completely up to us. We have help from the Holy Spirit: "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3:18, NIV).

Times of change — especially the difficult ones — can be catalysts for huge growth in our lives. Every time I've moved or started something new, I've had to rely on God's strength to lead me through. It is during the times of extreme change that I fully realize my need for the Lord. He is "my strength and my shield" (Psalm 28:7).

His Unchanging Nature

Although we need to change, one comfort we have is that our God never changes. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 13:8 that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." And although that truth would be disconcerting if it were describing a mere human being, it is comforting when talking about the God who controls the universe. Although our circumstances change, He does not.

One of the most beautiful things about God's unchanging nature is that it reassures me that His promise to love us will not fail. One of my married friends recently told me that she's glad her husband realizes that love and marriage are choices you make for life: "If he had only promised to love the woman he married, he may not love me anymore," she said. "I've changed a lot over the years."

To me, this is a wonderful example of the love God has shown us. When Yahweh made His covenant with Israel, and eventually with us, He stuck to it. Although Israel was constantly readjusting, rebelling, apologizing and then rebelling again, God remained faithful. His covenant was not based on His feelings or Israel's actions — it was based on His choice to love her, to follow through, to not change His mind. God's steadiness is something we could not survive without.

A Change of Pace

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So, my mom is selling my house. Change is here and will come again. Some of it is good and comfortable, some of it seems bad and unsettling, but all of it is a reality. Whatever lessons I need to learn about change — whether it is to stick with something I don't like so I can learn perseverance, or to force change in my character in order to become more Christlike — my prayer is that I handle all of it with grace. But even if I don't (knowing myself, I probably won't), I can rest in the truth that God's promise to love me will never change. And that is a comfort that cannot be undone.