Is It Good for Birds of a Feather to Flock Together?
Do you regularly interact with people outside of your own age group? We have lots of programs to keep us in community with people our age. Sarah encourages us to branch out.
Check Yourself
It's time for a quick internal evaluation. My request is that you take the next few minutes to think about every person you have interacted with throughout the course of this day. Next, think about the people you have interacted with over the past week. (I'll patiently wait until you are ready to resume.)
I would guess that the majority of your conversations during the past week have been with people of relatively the same age group as yourself. Am I correct? If that assumption doesn't describe you, you are most likely the exception, not the rule.
Separating the Masses
It has been my observation that our society promotes age separation. Think about it — when a child is a toddler, he or she will most likely play with other toddlers. When school begins, age grouping becomes even more rigid with specific grades separating the masses of children. That continues until high school graduation and then, for the majority of people, it continues straight into college.
The only distinction in college is that the amount of credits earned determines class rank, instead of a specific age. However, there is usually no more than four to five years of age difference between the entire college community of students. Because of the structure of college it is possible to have people from several different ages in a single class, but usually the age difference is only slightly varied.
School House Rocks
It wasn't all that long ago — well about 100 years ago — that school houses contained children of varied ages in one single room learning together. What an opportunity! Can you imagine the type of learning that took place?
I would assume that the older children had the responsibility to be an example to the younger children. This gave the younger children the ability to witness older role models every day and observe how the older students handled their responsibilities. In addition to that, think of all the experience the older children could gain from working with the younger students. I would guess that both the younger and the older students were motivated to excel by one another's presence. The younger students probably desired to be mature and responsible older children like the peers they observed. Likewise, the older students probably found a healthy pride in helping the younger children excel.
I have personally witnessed the current homeschool environment, which I think provides a nice equivalent to the former school house setting. During my highschool years (9th through 12th grade), I asked my parents if they would allow me to be educated from our home. They consented and here I am as a witness to the homeschool environment today.
One of the aspects of homeschooling that always stood out to me was the amount of varied socialization that took place. I know that seems absurd to say, considering that homeschoolers most often receive the greatest disapproval from people who claim that homeschooling negatively effects a child's socialization skills.
I am not trying to elevate homeschooling above other forms of education. But I do think that homeschooling can offer students the ability to relate to more age groups on more occasions.
Separating the Sinners
However, the school system is not alone when it comes to separating the masses. It happens almost every Sunday at local churches. Churches have programs to suit your specific needs — youth group, college ministry, singles ministry, married with children, and so on. None of this is bad, but it does allow for us to ignore the variety of ages and stage around us. We should be aware of what those younger and older than us have to offer, and what we have to offer them.
This brings to mind a very vivid memory from my high school years. While at church one Sunday, I was talking with an elderly woman who was a member of my church. During the conversation, she paused to ask me why the younger people of the church never took the time to talk with people her age. She said that it was hurtful to her because inside she didn't feel the age her appearance suggested. I have never forgotten that moment. I realized in that instant that people my age were not respecting this woman, and as a result, they were not loving her either.
So What's The Big Deal?
The reason I bring this subject up is because I think we are losing (or have possibly already lost), a vital aspect of God's design and intention for community. The sad part is that I think there is more at stake then we realize. I believe our very growth and maturity is dependant on the wisdom of those who are older, wiser and have more life experience. I also believe we have the responsibility to encourage those younger than us and to give them a godly example in both our words and our actions.
As we can see throughout Bible times, it was important to respect your elders. For example, Leviticus 19:32, NIV reads, "Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord."
Also in 2 Chronicles 10 you will find the story of Rehoboam who rejected the advice of the elders and took the advice of his peers instead. This poor decision resulted in detrimental consequences for Israel. I would encourage you to read that story, and let God's word speak for itself.
Furthermore, in 1 Peter 2:17 it says: "Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king." Now this is just a guess, but I am assuming that when it says 'everyone,' it means everyone.
The Practitioner's Prescription
Here is my encouragement and my request to not only all of you, but also to myself. Get involved! Find churches or service groups in which you will interact with a variety of people. For instance, maybe once a month you could volunteer at both a children's home and a nursing home.
I also would suggest seeking out a mentor if you don't already have one. A mentor is a very practical way to get wise counsel on a regular basis from someone who will take the time to invest wholeheartedly into your life. If you desire a mentor and you are wondering how to find someone, my first suggestion would be to pray that God would bring a specific person to your mind. If you think of someone, seek that individual out and ask if they could make the time to share their wisdom with you. If no one comes to mind continue to pray and keep your eyes open to whom God could bring your way. Always seek out a mentor whom you respect and who has godly qualities that you desire.
Do you think it's important to interact with people of all ages?
Join the discussion!
College is a time where it's easy to only come into contact with people your own age, so this means that you will have to make a concentrated effort to go beyond what you are surrounded by. My hope is that we all will begin, or continue to realize, the importance of not only respecting our neighbors (both young and old — and everything in between), but also appreciating and enjoying them!

Sarah Farris is a former intern for TrueU.org. She earned a Bachelor of Science degree in philosophy and religion from College of the Ozarks in 2006.
Artist's thoughts
"Though I set out to avoid the direct imagery of birds, I just couldn't pass up a chance to illustrate my favorite animals — our winged world friends. The idea is that these birds see a whole world of other birds, but stay caged up. It is a simple idea, but I feel it captures the idea that we need to break out and flutter with some new feathered friends." — Luke Flowers
Image created by Luke Flowers. © 2006 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved.
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